The BBDs ( The Best Big Deals )

Today is a rare day! Last night it rained a little, I planned to go home to pick some stuff from my bedroom and I had no idea to think about, while I briefly checked my mind... I thought about the BBDs then I knew I have something to leave here on my records.

First, “Two people will not walk together unless they have agreed to do so.” Amos 3:3

Second, I don´t know what´s coming tomorrow (I never knew it) and, if I ever planned or dreamed about it, it could end up this way: "Son of man, you love your wife very much, but I am going to take her away from you. Your wife will die suddenly, but you must not show your sadness. You must not cry loudly. You will cry and your tears will fall, but you must mourn quietly. Dress as you normally do; wear your turban and sandals; don't cover your mustache, and don't eat the food people normally eat when someone dies." Ezek 24:16-17

So, what´s next then?

"You can enter true life only through the narrow gate. The gate to hell is very wide, and there is plenty of room on the road that leads there. Many people go that way.” Mat 7:13

While others could be preaching about whatever they think it best, I could be preaching the gospel of “being detached” and more if I could acknowledge I´ve living semi-automatically piloting my life for the BBD.

BBD - an acronym for "Bigger Better Deal". A term basically used when a man or woman temporarily makes due with someone as his or her mate, while actually still in search for a mate that bares superior superficial qualities for an ideal lover.

Each has gone to the Stats owing the possession of his / her human experiences (No one would deny what each has lived, not even God). Stats are personal and each should keep the records of what they learned, holding his / her Stats.

I don´t know about you, but I largely lived with the Best Big Deal. :)

By 1988 I felt in love with MP. Some time after we were on our love affair and things, she kissed another guy in a party and I wasn´t well informed furthermore what she did those days ahead, because one of her friends informed me what was going on while we were a BF and GF. That relationship ended up not for my infidelity or hers, but for my stubbornness to avoid celebrating X-mas or the things she liked to follow up as Catholic. While we were somehow “connected”, MM came along and, unaware of that she liked me more than a friend, I enjoyed her tenderness and it would have been another sin that I have touched her, since she was a virgin... Why I missed both? I wasn´t the man MP liked and MM wasn´t the girl I liked to be married to (so I was operating under the BBD).

When I became “Christian”, when I realized my core wrong doings (yet not completely known all of them) I tried to do this well. In short, I was left for not bringing what they wanted and -reluctantly- I would say I´m happy not having what they wanted: Things!, instead of me.

There are some names I could list, but we all were operating with the BBD software system.

Lately, thinking my life was led well, I fell of the stairways (again) and I´m happy I still use the same measuring pattern I´ve been developing for five decades, though there´s an unpredictable margin of errors I cannot calculate: I have not right to deal inside another´s mind (though some might have tried to crack me from the inside out).

Amos 3:3 is clear enough to show me we cannot walk without agreements, but I´m used to walk along. Sometimes I´ve been rude, selfish and so self-centered, but I have thanked myself for having changed a little, or superficially.

What if someone gets the temporal reward some might have shown as a trophy?

What if God has another plan while I was spending time to please my guts or visceral mind?

I must admit I failed (and sinned). Since youth I wanted to be vasectomized and finally I am... What for? It was to be selfish and to do it my own way, then Jesus told it the best way:

“The gate to hell is very wide, and there is plenty of room on the road that leads there.”

I have tried life a lot!

I´m not an achiever, when challenged I see where their things go, and this year I´m going to be 53. What do I need then?

Eternity isn´t in my priority but, it seems the soul and its software has to be changed and pulled off.

I don´t mind being thought as a liar, but we men have done the same, because I have seen some things too temporal and risky. I also have seen several persons´ red flags (and their concealed warnings).

I don´t like being put under my tests.

I´m not quite concerned when being evaluated and, when being drawn away from my comfort zone I don´t see what is sought, so I´m not there to please another´s caprice.

As long as the day goes by traveling home (my own) I´ll be thinking about White Snow...

“Hi ho! Hi ho!...”

A.T.