Feeling lonely?

Loneliness is not a good friend, unless you had wanted it as your friend.

If you´ve ever shared your intimacies, your vulnerabilities, your secrets thoughts, etc. with someone who left, it was because you FELT lonely and needed comprehension, empathy (or sympathy?).

Sometimes you don´t need to step back into things that would mislead or hurt any of us.

These things I know:

·         If a person wants to be approached and known as she is (or as he is) the best thing to do is showing who we are. It would spare you confusions, particularly when “observers” can dream their dreams and, their hallucination was a thin handsome man (or a fat nice looking woman) you are not now. However, be advised there are scams and people seeking their prey to hurt you.

·         It´s highly advised hiding those private things we have already said or thought in previous online experiences (those sexual intimacies shared once) because those would mislead the relationship into sexual affairs, physical abuse and possible emotional exploitations and deceptions.

·          Save yourself for marriage (or a real date?)

Today, I´m not afraid to die without understanding the nature of human relationships.

Few days back one of my blood brother (drunk and confused) phone called my mom to tell her his wife told him she was about to commit suicide somewhere in the countryside, after they attended a party. They´ve been having problems for several years and, the reason for having traveled into the countryside it was they needed to make some legal arrangements (to set new social bonds) with the family of the “future” wife of one of my nieces. The irony in here, it´s that meanwhile one single person wants to get married, another couple is surely struggling to get their life back, legally divorced (they utterly have been postponing that emotional divorce, several times).

Consider the costs of any relationship.

I wish Jesus had told more about that important lesson (Lk 14:28) but that was enough… I can´t build anything if I lacked the materials, those tangible means (a) neither when I lacked the intention to endure it, to succeed in whatever thing I´d liked to achieved (that´s why there are some physical reasons people need to show who they are, emotionally and “materially”).

No one would build something big without enough money (neither being unmotivated or bitterly discouraged).

On those sites I have been I felt discouraged for several reasons. Each time I saw a rich woman I fled. Each time a saw a lady I didn´t like I ran… Just because I know me and, on the other side, I know my limits (cause I´ve acknowledged them).

(a) Some real loners did this wrongly (it´s just my wrong opinion) and MANY has set, for themselves, higher expectations at a late age (b) Particularly when young people are offering the same good things old ones had longed for decades, at less economical cost (but at a higher emotional risk of being left or cheated on often, the sooner or later)

The sad thing when anyone has looked like being honest or simple minded, they have been taken wrongly (misread) that they´ve been criticized “for selling themselves too cheap”: The moment I read someone wanted “a wedding party with 200 persons invited”, I killed myself those dreams I had about her… I´m supposed to build good things, but I´m not a dream maker.

Disclaimer: She could have lied -jokingly- that moment (I know who she was) but, in my private life, I have met several girls who were poor and wanted to marry a rich man and, as they are absolutely entitled to dream their dreams, I´m also entitled to live mine, as a Franciscan “Hermit”.

I won´t be sold out cheaply or expensively. This is not a matter of selling people out, but a matter of feeling and being honest while seeking what it is really needed, a thing largely wanted (or emotionally sought) for fraternal long lasting fellowship. As I see these things, a house is NOT built alone…

I hope you don´t care at people hurting and criticizing you (Lk 14:29), but I hope these words has served you for anything useful because, once you´ve built your tower, anything like an earthquake, can destroy what you cherished a lot and, I have seen several towers falling down apart.

A.T.