Honor those who love you.

As a present, daydreaming or writing to a future spouse, is not bad. If any person you think of would fit daydreaming is alive and somewhere she or he is, I would keep on written dreams: You are writing to the "object" of your present idealized love and to the "subject" of your love (even to the innermost YOU who longs to make dreams come true).

When you honestly write, you leave a record of your emotions, desires and dreams. If you want to be well understood, keep them going on. If you want to know more about YOURSELVES, during certain stage of your life (or that moment of your emotions) just make it as a paper records its time.

Time by time, if the persons "was" not either the object or subject of your words, if he/she wasn´t THE SOUND of those words you solely spelled... Just keep on to know you the more! (and do not share those secret emotions you addressed thinking in another person who is gone, somehow).

If those words serve to teach your, or others, get a fake moniker and publish them online (just to check the way you were and to correct any possible fault you had hidden inside your self).

Certain day, when I was getting divorced I went to my ex-wife´s house. I saw there weren´t any. My children were gone and, also, my ex and, surprisingly, I saw the door unlocked as it was shut (a very rare thing over there).

I stepped in.

I searched inside I saw the mess they normally had and have... (One of the reasons I left them). But I decided to be creative, since I had two cans of paints, so I decided to paint their windows and their main door...

While I was doing so, I needed a piece of paper to clean something I don´t remember what was. I tried to find old newspapers inside, but I couldn´t, except when I saw several papers that looked out of the trash can I never saw.

I swept the floor a little and, quickly, I saw there were too many pieces torn, of the same papers and, I had an idea when reading these belonged to hers...

I reconstructed the mayority of those pieces I have found on the floor. I knew how to bond and glue all of them, I was picking up them to understand the whole issue...

These were LOVE LETTERS. These were all those my ex-wife was writing to her lover...

I felt I hate her the most.

I felt jealous because I NEVER saw she wrote things -like that- for me. Of course it was THEIR INTIMACY I saw (from her perspective), but I also read she was aware he was a known cheater in town, the one she was ready to keep on fighting to get him back, although she knew he was married to another... (omitting details for respect of your eyes, your minds and the kids who could read this).

I felt my anger flowing and I knew I could kill a man for adulterer...

I felt I rejected, myself, because I came "home" and I tried to amend those things unsorted and, because of their absence, I started to paint their door, their windows, just to leave them a simple present, “a surprise”... But I was me who got sadly surprised. :(

I have lived to be strong, mentally healthy, smart, and so on.

It was a lesson I learned the hard way (I only cheated -on her- once during 13 years) and this pain healed my entire life because, before I was Christian, I was a cheater and a promiscuous man: Some sins have to be paid!

I don´t remember having written a letter for a spouse I´ve planned to meet any day on a date. I know I have written too many things for the people I have met and those I have left...

After divorce, I became a "bloggist" and I let my steam be off by writing, publicly, with all what I´ve felt.

I was so hurt, sinking deep in self-pity and sorrow, that I thought life was meaningless, worth of nothing and -any day- I pulled (3 times) the trigger of my big fire gun... The last time I planned to blow my head pulling it, I thought about my son Joshua. I thought about many things. I even thought God "was so selfish and deaf" because He never said: "Don´t do it" or "Stop it! Because I love you".

So, if you think your past can help another to know you: Re-write it in a new personal approach to win the person who now dares to LOVE YOU, the way you are.

He/she doesn´t need to know your past: Except when you are highly depressive or suicidal. (A thing I am not, however I´m strong willed and quick to react against injustice).

Do not let them know how much you´ve loved ANOTHER... Do you want to see their jealousy or anger confused and frustrated?

Do not let them know how much you´ve missed those who left you nor those you left: Your past is passed... (They will love you at the PRESENT state you are).

Hope they never try to change you...

It might sound ironic when They haven´t change themselves, but are so quick and willing to change or coach another´s refurbishment. ;)

How foolish these are!

Give honor those who deserve it... Keep the records of your faults (to avoid repeating them, and do not let these be used to hurt you).

"Forgive, to be forgiven" (Jesus)

A.T.